F*cked up at school? Or am I just bitter?

We miss our late night gimiks with our barkadas just to wake up for an early morning class. We sleep early just to get up on time. We forget about our daily duties and fail to accomplish them on time. We even forget to take care of our own selves. Our boyfriend/girlfriend.

These are just some of the things we miss when we get pre-occupied with school. As they say, where will you be picked up without your diploma? The streets? The call centers? Uhh.. just shut up please. Ok thanks.

Do I sound like an anti-educated person? I don't think so. I'm just being realistic and practical. Of course, we need education. As the saying goes "The children now is the future" I dunno how it really goes but it sounds like that shit.

Maybe for some, yeah. Think whatever you wanna think about me. I don't give a F! Who the fuck cares? Maybe some of the care bears do, not all but some.

What I'm trying to imply is.. learning should not be all based on the books that we read, the notes that we review, the quizzes that we stay all-night long just to pass the subject. What's more important is the everyday experience that teaches ourselves to become a better person.

Majority of the people would be reacting like "EWW! KADIRI! SQUATTER!" when you see a homeless kid without clothes on the side street, begging for food, etc. Don't you think that, that incident you just witnessed is a lesson? Some people would even say, "Huwag mo na bigyan yan, gimik lang nila yan" but when you see it with your bare eyes and with you're really in the situation itself. You'll not only pity yourself but also learn a lesson. A lesson which cannot be taught in school.

"Hindi lahat ng tao na sumasabak sa giyera ay handa at kumpleto ang armas, maskina sila ay hindi handa.. iba pa rin sa kanila ay nagtatagumpay"

Another translation..

"Not all of the successful people we know around aren't the top notchers or even the dean's lister or whatever special award you want to give them"

Just keep your mind open and suck in the experience. Focus. Be patient. Succeed.

Maybe I'm just in the stage of denial. Denial of being a partyphile. LOL!

Lately, I've been wondering.. how do people our age now handle matters now and on the other other hand how about those who lived in the past? Hold on a second, let me call my mom and ask her. Kidding!

Maybe in the past, so many questions has been asked already but up to now.. it hasn't been answered yet. Maybe because there are some things that are really meant to be mysterious or maybe.. some things are supposed to be left unspoken. It's up to you how you handle it. And it's up to you how you manage it.

We're not babies anymore. Let's leave the mind juggling to our brains. Our hearts for the erratic state of feelings . And the soul for our being.

Take this from me :

"Everything has been figured out, except how to live"

Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?

prayers - they never worked, well at least for me..
patience - one thing i guess i don't have. but i'm searching..
motivation - i'm running out of it..
perseverance - i'm persevering, i guess..
fear - it's freaking me..
hate - some strains left, but not enough to make me go ballistic
LOVE - the only thing that remains unchanged. despite the lacerations and abrasions, mine's still beating the same rhythm and for the same reason

Some people are confused, most specially when it comes to let's say their gender. As i was doing this post, i suddenly noticed the words "STATUS" in my profile. Weird, that's how i felt. What's with the "STATUS" thing? i mean, it's so simple, i typed "IT'S COMPLICATED". It's actually complicated.

"Umaasa kahit wala nang pag-asa..." this is a very nice song from 6cycle mind, except for the rap part.

Everything now seems so distant, i mean i'm seating next to the same person who used to hold me, but everything's just different. I asked myself, "Am i single or what?Make up your mind!!". Literally, i'm single, 'coz no individual is double. We're not together anymore, she called for it. That creates a large gap, as if i have to swim an ocean to bridge that gap. She doesn't look at me in the eyes anymore, could it be shame? Guilt? Anger? I don't know. Every time we're distant, I'm like a stranger to her. But the moment i see her and she sees me after 4 days, everything comes back as if I'm transported back to the times when she would hug me and say "Fuck you"-joke. i mean "I love you". Then we'd be in a state of nostalgia until the time we reach her house, the house i used to visit. In this world there's real and make believe. That seemed real to me.

Changed the song to "Story of a Girl" by 3 Doors Down. The song's cute. Girls do really cry; they could even drown the whole world. But so do guys. They can tear this world apart with a punch!!lol.

"You love me but you don't know who I am". This one's a pretty good song, though sad.

Am i really single or am i just making things complicated? What makes everything complicated are the words and action. You speak of dreadful things yet your hands tell me you love me. I'm talking to you. You heard me right.

Helena's now playing (time to turn up the pace).

I thought of keeping my distance but i just couldn't resist the opportunity to see you.
I am single, just like her, but not quite. There's still something i can hold on to. As long as it beats for me, it'll never be over. She's right, there's no such thing as too late. Every time i look at her, i see the things that I'll be losing. I'd be losing everything if i lose her. Physical closeness maybe non-existent, but the way i see your smile makes me believe i still have a place inside you.

I am single...But not quite!!

whoa,,
it has been months since my last post,,
it's good to be back again with the ciculation,,

to start, i went to ilocos with my cousin to celebrate christmas and new year,, i didnt expect much at the place at first, but i was surprise when i saw people who still know me since it has been years when i last visited the place,, it was nice experiencing again the waves and hi's of the people who were once my comrades,,

i have spent two weeks there and the vacation was totally different,, i spent my time with my friends there strolling the place,, i even got into an accident leaving a couple of scars on my arm,, i am so much thankful that the accident didnt cause any fatality,, hehehe,, that experience was scary but i am also thankful because i have learned that you must be careful when you are driving and do not drive when you're drunk,, that is total no-no,,

my christmas eve was a new experience to me,, i went to the park with a girl named roxanne and a friend of mine,, we went there to drink,, yeah,, to drink,, as the session went along the mood turned different, i found myself flirting with the girl,, the "flirting" started when the girl asked me for some fling, and of course i bought the offer,, then some steamy christmas eve went along,,

december 25, 2006,, i went to my friend's place, carl, he is also a cousin of mine,, i started telling him the story about my eve without telling him the girl's name,, he seemed to know the girl i was telling him,, then when i was about to end it, i revealed the girl's name --- roxanne,, damn,, i should've not told him the damn story,, that girl WAS his girlfriend at that time and i was surprise since the girl was the one who offered the fling and she didnt tell me about carl,, so, i ended up asking him to forgive me and that very moment she called and girl and he broke up with her,, from that very moment, i never saw the girl again,,

december 30, 2006,, my family arrived fresh from manila,, i hate it but i could do nothing about it,, so all i could do was to celebrate the new year with them and just extend a little cable of my patience,, [sorry if you guys cant understand what im saying ryt now,, long story,,]

though my new year was a little ruined i manage to control the turbulance and landed on 2007 with great happiness,, still,,

that was it,,

--enCY